February 2012
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shirya:
My mom: Can I—
Me: LEAVE ME ALONE.
Lana Parrilla: Can I rip your heart out, stomp on it and then eat it raw with a fork?
Me: Of course you can sweetie, you can everything you flawless, beautiful, perfect human being
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Return me to..
Police Officer: Are you lost? Where do you live?
Me: Just return me to Angie Harmon.
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Anonymous asked: are you gonna watch GCB?
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I mean, I just can’t get over the fact that that Twilight was acknowledged longer than Harry Potter was.
Announcer: THE ARTIST? TWO FOR YOU!
Harry Potter: bu-
Announcer: HUGO? FOUR FOR YOU, HUGO, YOU GO HUGO!
Harry Potter: uh-
Announcer: Is War Horse in the audience? Here you go, one for you...
Harry Potter: excuse me-
Announcer: AND NONE FOR HARRY POTTER BYE
Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: My boyfriend isn't excited about sex anymore, because I lost my figure due to pregnancy. Will you pay for his erectile dysfunction pills?
Government: Yes.
Normal people: Aw, look at the couple. They're so cute!
Me: I wonder if they've fucked yet.
kissedmequiteinsane:
A moment of silence because Harry Potter has gone ten years without an Oscar.
Throwing a piece of paper in the trash & making...
